If you did not know ugly chicks can fuck. Mr. Nasty Luke Campbell himself did a whole song about em. Do you need a piece of pussy you can call on rain or shine, day or nite, sweaty balls or clean balls? You need a ugly chick.
Why? They typically have low self esteem; as a result they won’t understand why anyone on your level would ever fuck with you. As a result they won’t ask many questions and will do as told. Have you ever wanted to violently skull fuck a woman like they do on the pornos? Get you a ugly chick. They will put up with waaay more shit than anyone pretty woman. Best part is you don’t have to be bothered with em except for when you wanna get your rocks off. It sounds bad but they know how things go. After all I didn’t say get a stupid chick.
Here are a few tips, tricks and pointers for those of you who can’t wait to rush home and find you a ugly chick.
1. Don’t Look to Hard
You don’t want to scrounge about looking for an ugly woman. After all they are ugly. If they get the sense that you’re the slightest bit pressed they will start feeling themselves, self esteem will mount and you will lose the upper hand.
2. Find one Close By
This kinda ties into #1. Don’t look for your ugly chick in neighborhoods across town, definitely not out of town. You want a chick that is close. No sense in wasting precious gas money on a woman you skeet on and then leave. Great places to find an ugly chick include: the corner store, gas station, Payless, and the lunch meat counter of your local grocery store.
3. They should only be Ugly in the Face
OK this should be a no brainer. If she has an ugly face she should at least have a great body. To be more specific the only things that are allowed to be ugly on your ugly jump off are her feet, hands and face. No bullet wounds, bellies, or stretch marks. Ideally you should be able to close your eyes, feel her booty and pretend that you’re fuckin Beyonce.. Jada Pinkett even. Of course when you open your eyes you will be in for a very rude awakening, but for those few brief moments before your dick vomits on her back..You’ll feel like hero. If I were you I take anything that was disease free, friendly, non-obese, a fridge full of food, and healthy teeth.
4. Be Safe
WTFMoments.org wouldn’t be the world’s foremost expert on moments that make you say “WTF” If I didn’t make the following statement. If you can go raw with your ugly chick do it! I know it’s a risk , so before you do so get her checked out. That’s right, take her to clinic and get her papers certified like you would a prize albino pitbull. Don’t worry, she will be happy to do so, just so she can juggle your balls to and fro in her jowls. While you’re there get the pill, patch, or some form of birth control.
**WARNING** Even with birth control you may want to use a rubber..Maybe two. Your ugly chick may get smart, fall in love with you and try to trap you with a baby. You ever see a nigga with a ugly broad and be totally confused how that shit happened? His ass got trapped by his ugly chick. Don’t be a victim.
5. Dont Be Seen Out in Public w/Them
This is essential! Unless you lose your mind and decide to wife your ugly chick don’t fuck this rule up. Your ugly chick may get bold and try to dupe you into being seen with her. It’ll be something simple like “Lets go run to the corner and get some more blunts”. Your knee jerk reaction will be to say “Aite”.. but no! Don’t do it. As soon as your seen with your ugly chick in public, folks will put 2 and 2 together. The cute chicks will run and the ugly ones…will come.
6. Ugly…But not tooo Ugly
If you get a ugly woman don’t take it to far. She may not be a traditional beauty but avoid a woman that is plane hard to look at. Men immediately lose interest in any woman immediately after sex. Imagine how it would feel to lose interest in a ugly woman? So hedge your risk.
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